listening to Yanni "Live from the Acropolis"

and suddenly I started to think about my late partner.

I know it's been two years since he passed away

but I also know you just can't push away

7 years of your life like it never happened.

I just sat down on the couch and started to cry.

The last week of my partners life was spent at our home.

He was on morphine and nothing else.

I just sat, ate, and slept in the recliner in the living room,

where we had to keep his hospital bed.

  One night PBS played the video concert of Yanni at the Acropolis,

and as I sat there and watched the program I wondered

if my partner could hear the music.

He used to love Yanni because he said that

the music used to uplift his spirit.

I'll never know if he ever heard the music,

because he never said anything except

"I love you",

"I'm tired."

and

"I'm sorry".

He died in my arms two days later.

I guess when you lose someone you love to such

an ugly disease and you know that

there is nothing that can be done to help,

except be there,

reality does set in and you look at life differently.

  So here it is a New Year.

We just had a great Christmas and a wonderful Holiday season,

so why was I crying?

I mean I have a wonderful home,

the most generous partner and a great family,

but I will always be missing a small part of my heart.

  AIDS can be such a vicious opponent in this game of

live and death

but I've become pretty good at this game

and I'll be Damned if I don't go out without a fight!

Well I didn't mean to bring anyone down

but I just felt like I had to share

this little moment of reality.

  I feel better getting it off my mind.

My only conclusion to this little piece is that

if you do know someone with AIDS

just make sure they know that

someone is there for them.

Thanks for reading!

See you soon,

Tony