My Unicorn Has Gone Away: Life, Death, Grief and Living In the Years of AIDS
Powder House Publishing, P.O. Box 137, Somerville, MA 02144. 105p., illus. ISBN 0-9634759-0-8. $14.00. Robert J.L. Publicover. 1992.
Of all the personal accounts that deal with AIDS, this reviewer found this book the most moving. More than once in reading the richly described stories, tears had to be wiped away and the book put down so that the thoughts and images could be enjoyed again and again. Robert, the author, and his partner John had a beautiful relationship and enjoyed life to its fullest. Then John became ill and died of AIDS related complications. Robert was devasted but he hung on to all of the memories and puts them down for all to read. He does this through small stories, poems, and letters that were written while John was alive. He talks about the good and bad times but he especially tries to comfort his own grief by writing about John, about his own emptiness without John, and about doing things before it is too late. The poem "January 1975" is a short one that anyone who has been in a long relationship will appreciate. It is about watching a late movie and "I imagine him sitting with me, I look into his eyes--and he into mine...I take his hand--he squeezes mine." It cause you to choke and your eyes to get moist. Probably the most touching of all the essays is his letter to John after the funeral, where he tells him he is sorry for certain things he said or did. He writes: "I hope you saw all of those who came to your wake and funeral...They came for you, John, not for me...I miss you so but I still love life; and there is so much more to do...John, when I told you at your bedside that I believed that we would meet again, I believed it...And now, I will, I must go on with my own life. I'm not just me, for you will always be in there." This is a highly recommended book that will make you cry but afterwards you will have an inner glow knowing that Robert has gone on and when and if a tragic event happens with you and your partner, you can go on. (H. Robert Malinowsky)
Keywords: Comfort, Reminisces, Personal Accounts
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