AEGiS-BKREV: If a Partner Has AIDS: Guide to Clinical Intervention for Relationships in Crisis

If a Partner Has AIDS: Guide to Clinical Intervention for Relationships in Crisis

Harrington Park Press/The Haworth Press, 10 Alice St., Binghamton, NY 13904-1580. 277p., bibliog., index. ISBN 1-56023-002-9pbk, 1-56024-145-4. $14.95pbk, $29.95.
R. Dennis Shelby. 1992.

Intended for the clinician, this book presents information that will help the counselor understand the realities of AIDS in a relationship, particularly that of a gay couple. He has drawn upon his work with gay couples, presenting what he believes will help anyone who is faced with such counseling. Shelby's basic philosophy is the use of self psychology. The first idea of self psychology is empathy. In order to show empathy in the book, Shelby described in great detail the experiences of men whose partners have AIDS. The second idea is selfobjects. Here, each partner is a being and comfort and soothe each other. It is on these two concepts--empathy and selfobject--that the book is developed, resulting in useful guidelines that counselors will want to know about.

The first chapter is a brief narrative literature review on AIDS, mourning and grief, self psychology, and mourning in the context of gay and lesbian relationships. The following chapters cover methodology of the research, introduction of the results, wondering, confirmation, the long haul, fever pitch, calm and peace, chaos, retreat, exploration, back into the world, mourning, and clinical intervention. This is a down to earth and frank discussion of AIDS and its impact on gay couples. Numerous examples are given that should help any counselor who has not encountered this situation. For example in the chapter on fever pitch the following quotation should indicate the tone of the book: "Fever pitch encompasses the experiences of the well partner during the last weeks or days of his partner's life. Usually, by this time, the ill partner is gravely ill and the dialogue between the partners is substantially diminished. An increasing sense of aloneness comes to dominate the well partner's experience. The well partner is negotiating family, medical personnel, his own career, household business and the needs of his partner, all while evidence continues to mount that the end of his partner's life, and their dialogue, is near."

This is not a happy book. It is a book on the facts of life in dealing with AIDS, dying, death, and mourning. It is a book that you may be reluctant to read unless you are a counselor because it is so realistic in the way it is written. This is a highly recommended book for counselors and should be in all research libraries. It is an important book for individuals who can handle the facts of death and dying. It should not be read by the unsuspecting gay male who is not ready to face the fact that his partner may have AIDS and have to encounter what lies ahead. Although the entire book is about gay partners, it could be used on straight couples as well. The same feelings are there and the same approaches can be used. (H. Robert Malinowsky)

Keywords: Patients, Family Relationships, Counseling, Lovers and AIDS

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Copyright © 1993 - The University of Illinois at Chicago. All materials in the journal are subject to copyright by the Board of Trustees of the University of Illinois and may be reprinted or redistributed for the noncommercial purpose of scientific or educational advancement granted by Sections 107 and 108 of the Copyright Revision Act of 1976. For other reprinting, redistribution, or translation, address requests to H. Robert Malinowsky, University of Illinois at Chicago Library, PO Box 8198, Chicago, IL 60680 or electronically to hrm@uic.edu.

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