Sunday Times (Johannesburg) - June 13, 2009
Pholokgolo Ramothwala

It is the voice of a man I met recently. He and his wife are HIV-positive. He is not taking HIV infection very well. During our one-hour conversation, he never laughed or smiled at my jokes. For him, our meeting was a serious matter.

I met him because he had started antiretroviral treatment. Now he is experiencing side effects. His wife asked me to speak to him and encourage him to be strong. Though I could tell that it was not easy for him to talk to me, our talk went well. Well, at least until the end.

He said: "Bro, thank you for meeting me. This is my first time ever speaking to another person who has HIV. I hope you are going to organise a meeting of people living with HIV soon so that I can meet people like me." People like him? I thought I was like him!

Before I interrupted, he continued: "I mean, I appreciate that you are talking to me about this. But I would like to meet someone who is on ARVs. I think I can relate to them a lot better because they are going through the same thing. "

I asked myself, am I not like him? Maybe I am not. I have a CD4 count of over 500 and viral load below 20000. In his eyes, I am just a healthy human being who has nothing to worry about. At least for now.

I tried to remember if I knew anyone who has had the same problems with ARVs as this man. He is a Zulu whose HIV has developed into Aids. He has a wife and they recently had a child. I know a few people who are on treatment who had side effects. Some of them are my friends. But none fit his description. I was stuck.

I remembered a conversation with my doctor, who said it was always important to start ARVs at a CD4 count of (at least) 200. This reduces the risk of side effects. Some doctors are now saying a CD4 of 300 is even better. But this is not going to help this man. He started ARVs with a CD4 below 100. He needs to make sure that he survives this turbulent time.

Why is it that with almost a million people said to be on ARVs, I can't find anyone to talk to him? Where are all these people ? Why are they not coming out and saying: "Here I am. I am on ARVs and living to tell the story."

In fact, I realised that I know a few people. Unfortunately none of them are open about their status. I ask myself, what would happen if more people (especially men and people in the middle-income group) started coming out and telling their own experiences of living with HIV? Would this man have had to drive almost 40km to see me if there were more of us?

If more people were open about their status, the stigma and discrimination that clouds this disease would be minimised. The most important people in the fight against HIV are the people who are carrying the virus. We are the people who infect others. There is no way a person can get HIV from someone who does not have it. If more of us were to test and disclose our status, this could make a difference. If there was more of a focus in us to protect others, this would make a significant difference in this fight. We can be the spokesmen in encouraging those who are scared to test by showing them that they can live the same life even after HIV.

In my language, sePedi, there is a saying: Ditau tsa hloka seboka di shita ke nare e hlotsa. This means lions that do not hunt as a pack will never succeed. We as people living with HIV should be like that. We need more of us to be open so that we can be a stronger pack. There is no need to be scared to test for HIV.

What many people tend to forget is that, if you have HIV today and decide not to test, it will still be there five or 10 years later.

The only difference is that you might have infected other people and maybe your body would be more damaged by the virus. So we need to do the honourable thing and test. And when we are ready, come out in public.

My challenge to everyone who knows that they have HIV is to be a leader in your community and come out.

For those who are scared to test, just remember, it will not change the fact that you have HIV.

We need to find the five million people who are living with HIV or Aids and put faces to numbers.

Those who are ready, please come out, we need more faces to be out there.

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