Sunday Times (Johannesburg) - December 2, 2007
Nashira Davids

Soon he will take centre stage again - this time to pledge his love and commitment to long-time partner Dallie Weyers.

The couple plan to tie the knot in a civil union at the Imperial Yacht Club in Lakeside, near Cape Town, on January 5 in front of family and friends.

They will not be dripping in diamonds and designer outfits, nor will the ceremony or reception be like that of the rich and famous.

Instead, they have decided on a "low-key" event to celebrate their love in a relaxed environment.

"There will be lots of people, but nothing really glamorous about it," Weyers said this week.

"I am guessing we will get something off the shelf to wear and if it has to be tailored we might do that."

Achmat and Weyers organised the wedding themselves.

"The nervousness fortunately only relates to getting everything done. But nervous for the actual ceremony? No. It is just a natural step and I don't think Zackie or I will have extra expectations of each other after the ceremony," Weyers said.

"We are very in love and that is obviously going to go on, so we don't see the ceremony as necessarily changing anything. We are very excited because the day essentially will be about family and friends and sharing it with them."

Weyers said he and Achmat met in 2005 when he was a student at Rhodes University and a member of the Student HIV/ Aids Resistance Campaign, or SHARC.

The political science master's student caught Achmat's eye.

Weyers works for a non-profit media production company that produces HIV/Aids lifestyle programmes.

They moved in together in June, after Achmat's spontaneous proposal at breakfast with a group of friends.

"We were speaking about birthdays and who is turning what when and then we said I would be turning 25 on the 30th of December and he said: 'Oh, at least I can allow you to be 25 for a week because I always said I can't marry you when you are 24. So I will let you be 25 for a week and then we'll get married.' Then I said: 'Yes, no, that's cool,'" Weyers explained.

Later that afternoon, they were at a friend's 50th birthday party when Achmat announced that they were going to get married - much to Weyers's surprise.

"At some point I took him aside and said, 'Oh, you were serious?' and he said, 'Yah, yah, yah.' I didn't bat an eyelid. I was completely happy with it and very excited," Weyers said.

Achmat said he had thought about proposing to the love of his life for some time.

"What attracted me to Dallie was his degree of maturity, a sense of seriousness and also that he is a very decent human being - apart from the fact that he is a very handsome man with the most beautiful eyes you've ever seen. So clear and strong. Our relationship is one of deep companionship and a love for life and shared but not identical interests," said Achmat.

He said proposing was difficult because he has always found commitment difficult and he had many things to consider.

"[My life] is very difficult and busy and also one of the difficulties in making the decision was obviously that he doesn't have HIV and I do and I always worry about that. Then there is the age difference, which is enormous. I am 45," he said.

Meeting Weyers's family over Christmas lunch last year, which Achmat and Weyers had prepared, was nerve- racking for Achmat. But they welcomed him despite the fact that he was an older, HIV-positive man from a different race.

"They are very good people who, most importantly, care about him [Weyers] and his happiness à With my family it is a bit more difficult and complex and not something that is easy for a Muslim family. I respect my family's beliefs, but it is not easy for them," said Achmat.

When Achmat is not travelling he and Weyers spend time together at home, watching movies and gardening.

They live in a house in Muizenberg, which Achmat describes as his refuge from the hard things in life, with one of Achmat's good friends and two dogs - the "smart, reflective, depressive" dog belonging to Achmat.

While Weyers says he is accustomed to his partner travelling all over the world, he would rather have him at home.

Weyers, who describes himself as a "homebody" and "just a little Afrikaans boy from the Free State", grew up in the beautiful eastern Free State town of Ficksburg.

He has two older brothers and a three-year-old stepsister. Weyers said it is difficult to gauge how people from his town feel about "me coming out", but added that his family and friends have been very supportive and accepting.

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