Sunday Times (Johannesburg) - October 7, 2007

I, like most people at that time, didn't really know anyone with the disease and I told him I didn't mind him helping these people as long as he didn't bring the disease home. Of course, this was all spoken out of ignorance on my part.

Those afflicted were housed in secret places and our church asked us to prepare ready- cooked meals that could just be reheated in a microwave. I figured I could assist with that.

Up to that point, I hadn't had any personal contact with an HIV-positive person. Then my husband decided to take me to lunch with a friend of his, who turned out to be HIV-positive.

He invited us to a party, where I met a whole group of HIV-positive people, and the aversion I first felt about dealing with them faded.

I could understand the anger one young man felt, a haemophiliac who was infected through a blood transfusion. Friends of his family would let them use their summer cottage every year, and it hurt when all the cutlery and dishes were replaced by plastic cutlery and paper plates. But what hurt this young man most was witnessing these ôfriendsö removing beds and everything else in the house and setting fire to the whole lot.

That story really got to me and I invited the whole group to our home for a buffet dinner. I put out my finest cutlery, crystal and tableware, thinking it was the least I could do to make up for the rejection these people felt.

I am glad I did that because the very next day one of the group died.

Alan, who was born in Port Elizabeth, returned to South Africa in 1991, at the request of the late Bruce Evans in Washington. Alan had been asked to work with the Red Cross on Aids issues.

At the time, not many people thought Aids was an issue, with only 89 infections recorded in Port Elizabeth.

We were laughed at for making some serious predictions and, of course, we were told it was a gay disease. Well, now look at the mess!

What upset me is that no funding was made available for Alan's highly skilled work, which included keeping people from committing suicide once they were given their diagnosis, by some medical source, without any counselling.

The problem became worse as parents died and left HIV- positive babies that nobody wanted to care for.

There is a lot more to my story, but after a while I just could no longer go to funerals.

Through Bishop Eric, Alan secured the House of Resurrection and organised a committee, which included Dr Clarence Mini, to provide a haven for these children. The stigma is still very much alive.

Alan and I travelled back to the US, on our own pennies, to secure funding, and in 1994 the House of Resurrection was opened to all denominations.

I think that those of us who were there in the beginning carry with us an understanding that still needs to be brought home to a lot of people.

I do feel that home care is an answer for the masses, but when there is no home to go to, it is government's responsibility to provide most of the funding. - Heidemarie 'Heidi' Vos

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# Clinical psychologists Khumo Seopela and Kgamadi Kometsi offer HIV counselling free every Saturday morning. Counselling is offered between 9am and noon at 4 Biermann Avenue, Rosebank, Johannesburg.

# To book, fax (011) 280-5151 or e-mail counselling@ sundaytimes.co.za. Bookings are taken on a first-come, first-served basis. The sessions will take place in private.

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