Sunday Times (Johannesburg) - October 14, 2007
Claire Keeton

Phindile Madonsela from Soweto reached the top of Africa's highest peak, Mount Kilimanjaro, in June and she has dreams of one day climbing to the top of the world, Mount Everest.

The strong athlete told her story as she threaded beads into keyrings with a 2010 logo and the South African flag, which could become collectors' items.

Madonsela wants to pursue her artistic talent. She would like to expand beyond beadwork into pottery.

The 36-year-old mother of three has many roles - artist, climber, rape survivor and HIV/Aids activist.

She said: "I found out my HIV status 10 years ago at Chris Hani Baragwanath Hospital, where I used to be a blood donor.

"I started giving blood when I was still at school in the '80s but in 1997 they had a problem with me.

"I went there, as usual, and filled in the form. The lady helping me took the form and put it in the dustbin. She gave me a letter and I asked: 'What is the letter for?'

"She said that she didn't know and I should read it at home. I took it to the toilet and opened it. The letter said I should see a doctor and they would not take blood for donations."

Madonsela consulted a doctor the following day.

"The doctor read the letter and did an HIV test. I told a friend and called the Aids Helpline before I got the result.

"I did not think I was HIV-positive. When I went there after two weeks, they told me they could not find my result and I had to do another test. My friend had warned me that if they said they had lost the result, it might be a positive one. I did another test and the result came back positive.

"I decided not tell anyone except for one woman who I trusted. She told me not to tell anyone."

For four years Madonsela lived with this secret, until she had had enough.

"I was a member of the National Association of People Living with Aids. My friend kept asking why and I told her, as a joke, that I'm HIV-positive.

"She took it seriously and went to the woman I had trusted, and said: 'Do you known Phindi has Aids?'

"That lady asked me why I had told my friend. Then I cried for the first time really since I had found out I had HIV. This woman was close to my mom and how was I going to tell my mom?"

Madonsela told her mother then and she also cried a lot. "I told her: 'Don't cry for me. I've been HIV-positive since 1997 and look at me.'"

From telling her family, she made the leap of going public about living with HIV on community radio station Jozi FM, which broadcasts to Soweto where she lives. Back then, HIV disclosure was still unusual.

Madonsela said: "After disclosing, people were afraid to enter the yard. If I was walking with a man, other people would say: 'How can you go out with someone who is HIV-positive?'

"I lost friends and even family on my dad's side. My mother and my older sister were supportive throughout. I also disclosed to my oldest daughter, who didn't understand exactly as she was young then."

Fortunately Madonsela, who is a member of the Treatment Action Campaign, made new friends while others slowly became more accepting of HIV/Aids.

Speaking of how climbing entered her life, Madonsela said: "I was talking at an HIV support group at Columba's Church once and told them I dreamt of climbing Mount Kilimanjaro, and that I would not die before this."

She hoped this trip would be a healing process, which would allow her to forgive the man who had raped her when she was 16 years old.

Members of the church secured funding and loaned Madonsela the right equipment.

On June 12 Madonsela left Johannesburg for Tanzania, and five days later she reached the summit of Kilimanjaro.

"The first day I had a headache. The second was no problem until I reached the peak. When I reached that point, I was very excited and I cried.

"I needed food as I had not eaten and I was losing power. It was very, very cold and I could see how people could die up there. But I got some bread and my strength came back."

As soon as Madonsela returned to Soweto, she was willing to meet the man who had raped her.

"Before Kilimanjaro, he would ask me when I'd forgive him. I'd say: 'Just give me a gun so I can shoot you.'

"I had been angry for 20 years. For the first time, I was not angry anymore and I was able to greet him."

The expedition to Kilimanjaro marked a new beginning for Madonsela. Her beadwork has earned her enough to build a hut behind her mother's house, where she sleeps with her youngest daughter who is three years old. Her eldest daughter and her son sleep in the main house.

"I missed them a lot on Kilimanjaro, especially the youngest," she said.

"My children, my mother and my sister have supported me, even when it has been hard for them. I owe them and want to thank them."

***

Everyone Knows Someone is a Sunday Times campaign to encourage people to know their HIV status, and is aimed at destigmatising the infection.

We would like to publish the personal experiences (and, where the writer feels comfortable, photos) of South Africans living with HIV or caring for loved ones with the virus.

E-mail your story to: everyoneknows@ sundaytimes.co.za or fax it to 011-280-5151.

# Clinical psychologists Khumo Seopela and Kgamadi Kometsi offer HIV counselling free every Saturday morning. Counselling is offered between 9am and noon at 4 Biermann Avenue, Rosebank, Johannesburg.

To book, fax 011-280-5151 or e-mail counselling@ sundaytimes.co.za. Bookings are taken on a first-come, first-served basis. The sessions will take place in private.

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