Sunday Times (Johannesburg) - September 23, 2007

Q: How old are you?

A: I am 23 years old.

Q: Where are you from?

A: I am originally from Nashville, Tennessee.

Q: When did you find out that you were HIV- positive?

A: I found out that I was HIV-positive on July 17 2003 at 2:15pm. It was partly cloudy with on and off rain. I was in the hospital at Tennessee Christian Medical Centre. I was 19.

Q: How did you contract HIV?

A: I contracted HIV from unprotected vaginal intercourse with an infected man.

Q: Are you still angry at the man who infected you?

A: No, I am not mad at him any more. I wanted to blame him, I wanted to blame the school system and I wanted to blame my mom, but at the end of the day I had a choice. It was my decision to sleep with him, so that means that I am also responsible. I could have said no, or used a condom, and I would not be in this situation. Whether he knew he had HIV or not, I made a choice and now I am facing the consequence.

Q: What is a typical day like for you?

A: A typical day for me is just like a day for someone who does not have HIV. I have my up days and I have my down. The only difference is that I have to deal with uneducated people and the stigma of HIV .

Q: Do you date or have a boyfriend? And if you do, did you tell him about your status up front?

A: I am currently dating, as I have been since I found out my status in 2003. I have always told the man I was dating about my status at the beginning of our relationship, when it is easier on me if he does not want to stay. I still have to deal with rejection if he leaves but it is always for the better. I do not need close-minded people like that in my life.

Q: Are you sexually active? If so, what measures do you take to ensure safety for your partner?

A: Yes, I am sexually active. I take safety precautions not only for my partner but for myself as well. I am not excluded from other STDs because I have HIV. My partner and I go through all the safety measures, using condoms correctly and educating ourselves on STDs as well.

Q: What motivates you?

A: When I was first diagnosed I had people telling me that I would never amount to anything because I am HIV- positive. Let's just say I love to prove people wrong.

Q: What are your dreams and aspirations?

A: My dream is to one day produce educational films about issues that affect youth across the world. I also want to get married and have children of my own.

Q: What roles do your parents play in your life?

A: My mother plays a very important role in my life. I talk to her a lot about the business aspects of things and give her credit for her wisdom. My father passed away in June 2006 but before he died he told me how proud I had made him.

Q: Why do you feel youth still embark on risky behaviour even though the word is getting out about HIV?

A: People know that if you speed in a car then you could get a ticket, but that does not stop them from speeding. People are aware of certain risks and consequences. At the end of the day it is your choice and your decision. As a person living with HIV, I suggest you make choices wisely.

Q: Overall, what is the best advice you can give to our youth?

A: Take responsibility for yourself and do not expect anyone else to do it for you. Self-love is beautiful and if you love yourself then you will protect yourself. - - 2007 Marvelyn Brown

Brown is a guest of the US Embassy's speaking programme to reach young people and to participate in HIV/Aids awareness forums. Visit www.marvelynbrown.com.

* Clinical psychologists Khumo Seopela and Kgamadi Kometsi offer HIV counselling free every Saturday morning. Counselling is offered between 9am and noon at 4 Biermann Avenue, Rosebank, Johannesburg. To book, fax 011-280- 5151 or e-mail counselling@ sundaytimes.co.za. Bookings are taken on a first-come, first-served basis. The sessions will take place in private.

* Everyone Knows Someone is a Sunday Times campaign to encourage people to know their HIV status, and is aimed at destigmatising the infection. We would like to publish the personal experiences (and, where the writer feels comfortable, photos) of South Africans living with HIV or caring for loved ones with the virus.

E-mail your story to: everyoneknows@ sundaytimes.co.za or fax it to 011-280-5151.

* A group of doctors involved in HIV/Aids management programmes are providing free antiretroviral treatment and follow-up blood tests and counselling for HIV-positive patients. Doctors provide the service to 50 patients a month on a first-come, first-served basis. Patients must be HIV-positive and must have had a CD4 count already taken. The service will be offered at the Primary Care Centre, Louis Pasteur Hospital, Schoeman Street, Pretoria CBD; and the Bambanani Medical Centre, 186 Cowen Ntuli Street, Middelburg CBD, Mpumalanga. Each site will accommodate 25 people.

Contact Sandra on 012-336 6031 for appointments at the Primary Care Centre; and Sister Pretorius on 013-282- 5218 at the Bambanani Medical Centre.

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