Sunday Times (Johannesburg) - July 15, 2007

I tried to tell the father of my baby but was very scared that he would leave me, so I kept it a secret from him .

When I gave birth I was given ARVs [antiretroviral drugs] to protect my unborn child from being infected. When he was eight months old I had him tested and he was negative. Still I couldn't bring myself to tell my family. I couldn't disappoint them as they had put me through technikon, and having a baby was enough to deal with.

I was fortunate to graduate and get a job in Gauteng , and I have been supporting my family with the salary that I am earning. I do get sick sometimes, but I don't want my mom and my granny to worry about me, and I have decided that I will only tell them once my CD4 count decreases, which is when I'll probably be very sick.

At the moment it's 799 and I am taking care of myself, so I hope the next time I go to the doctor it will improve. I am not taking any drugs , but I try to get a regular dose of olive oil and garlic, lots of veggies and in every meal add a bit of crushed garlic, and my weight is 74kg so I think I'm in good shape.

I am in a relationship with somebody at the moment and I haven't disclosed my status to him either. I have this thing that I can't disclose to every man I date, so I'm waiting for the right time (like when he proposes or something like that) to tell him.

We use protection every time we have sex and he is very responsible - even when things get heated, he never forgets to put on a condom.

I am happy with my life the way it is. Seeing my family happy keeps me happy and I try by all means to stay healthy, if not for me then for my son and my family.

Being HIV-positive has taught me to be strong and to work even harder so that I can move up the corporate ladder so that when my time has come, I will leave something for my family to live on.

Someday I will disclose, but for now, nobody knows ... Anonymous

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# You too can play your part

EVERYONE Knows Someone is a Sunday Times campaign to encourage people to know their HIV status, and is aimed at destigmatising the infection.

We publish the personal experiences (and, where the writer or subject feels comfortable, photos) of people in South Africa living with HIV or caring for loved ones with the virus. The stories appear in the newspaper or on our website.

E-mail your story and photos to everyoneknows@sundaytimes.co.za or fax it to 011-280-5151.

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To book, fax 011-280-5151 or e-mail counselling@sundaytimes.co.za

The sessions will take place in private.

# Be a hero

Take an HIV test and get five other people to do the same. Make it clear that nobody has to disclose their results.

Let us know why you decided to join the campaign and how you felt when you took the test. We welcome any feedback or anecdotes of experiences that you have while participating in the campaign. Send your stories (and pictures, if possible) to reach5@sundaytimes.co.za

Send us your name and the names of your five nominees so that we can publish a list of South Africans who have taken part.

Please note: we do not want to know the results of any test.

You can get tested at your doctor or at your local clinic.

For lists of Department of Health sites offering counselling, testing and antiretroviral treatment, go to www.sundaytimes.co.za/vct

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