Important note: Information in this article was accurate in 2007. The state of the art may have changed since the publication date.
Sunday Times (Johannesburg) - June 17, 2007
Look at me now, I am all alone. He has gone and probably left me HIV-positive, a scar that I will carry for life.
It's a secret that I am not willing to share with anybody at this stage, although there are hurtful rumours that I am positive. Why can't people understand that I need to deal with this on my own?
It began in 2004 when I met Michael through a friend. He was the most gorgeous thing I have ever seen, and my friend was not keen on having a serious relationship with him. So I stole Michael from him and within a few months we moved in together. My friend was devastated and our friendship ceased to exist.
After two years, the relationship took a turn for the worse. Michael became a monster, controlling every movement that I made, the friends who came to visit us. He didn't want me to support my relatives financially. He wanted everything that I had.
Then violence became our daily bread. We separated last year.
Michael tried a number of times to contact me. There were calls where he cried and asked for forgiveness.
Then one Sunday came an SMS saying he didn't care about me any more as we were both infected with the dreaded virus.
He is the only man I ever slept with without protection and I trusted him with my dear life.
I have had persistent flu and lost weight. Migraines last longer than normal.
How could I have been so blind? How will I apologise to my friend for stealing his man? How will I even begin to tell him that we are probably both positive? How do I tell my family? They don't even know that I am gay.
Soon I have to go for a blood test to confirm what I already know. If only I could get the courage to face my demons. - Name withheld
# Everyone Knows Someone is a campaign to encourage people to know their HIV status. We publish the experiences (and, where the writer feels comfortable, photos) of people living with HIV or caring for loved ones with the virus. E-mail your story to everyoneknows@sundaytimes.co.za or fax it to 011-280-5151
# Psychologists Khumo Seopela and Kgamadi Kometsi are offering HIV counselling free every Saturday morning in Rosebank, Johannesburg. Bookings are on a first-come, first-served basis. To book, fax 011-280-5151, or e-mail counselling@sundaytimes.co.za. Sessions will be private.
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