Sunday Times (Johannesburg) - April 15, 2007

I MET a friend called Lerato in 1998. We clicked immediately. She was like a sister, we were there for each other, we were the same age, 27. I had a child but she did not.

She was staying in Soweto with her family and I used to visit there occasionally.

She was very intelligent and a person with vision. She did not go far because of her background, but she did not stop pushing life. She was a sickly person, but that did not bother me as I thought it was not a problem.

I decided to leave Gauteng to be with my family. Lerato and I kept in contact.

One time she started complaining about a sore on her back. That was when she was diagnosed with HIV.

I was not told until a year later. It was very hard for her to tell me. I felt like dying when she told me. She had gone through a lot of trauma, now this.

But I accepted it as she was cool and a strong human being. Then she fell pregnant and I was angry at her for the risk she was going to take. But she was strong, and gave birth to a beautiful baby. I was there for her all the way.

The child was healthy because she took nevirapine when she was pregnant. She loved her baby with a passion. But she did not last long. She was losing weight fast and she started getting sick. But at least her child was safe.

I felt helpless. I advised her on antiretrovirals but she refused, saying that they were a lifelong commitment. I was angry at her for not listening, but I also respected her wishes.

In 2006 she was so sick that she was bedridden. I did not go to see her as I was working at the time. We kept in touch over the phone. I sent some money for the family to take care of her as they could not cope.

Then I received a call from my other friend, telling me I must come to Gauteng. I knew my friend was going. I rushed to see her.

She was so tiny and sick that I did not know her. It felt like I was there to bid her farewell. She talked to me, held my hand tightly and told me that she loved me. I loved her. I was so angry to see her lying there, and there was nothing I could do.

She passed away a day later. I did not go to her funeral but deep down inside she knew I loved her.

I'm going to take care of her baby, who I regard as my angel.

To Lerato, I love you, girlfriend. May your soul rest in peace. You still inspire me in whatever I do, every day, and that means being a survivor.

I miss you and everything we went through together - and that was a lot.

# Clinical psychologists Khumo Seopela and Kgamadi Kometsi are offering HIV counselling free of charge every Saturday morning.

Counselling is offered between 9am and noon on Saturdays at 4 Biermann Avenue, Rosebank, Johannesburg. Bookings are on a first-come, first-served basis. To book, please fax 011-280-5151, or e-mail counselling@sundaytimes.co.za. The sessions will take place in private.

Everyone Knows Someone is a Sunday Times campaign to encourage people to know their HIV status, and is aimed at destigmatising the infection.

We would like to publish the personal experiences (and, where the writer feels comfortable, photos) of people in South Africa living with HIV or caring for loved ones with the virus.

The stories will appear in the newspaper or on our website. We will use as many as we can. E-mail your story to: everyoneknows@sundaytimes.co.za or fax it to (011)280-5151.

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