Sunday Times (Johannesburg) - July 2, 2006

I went to the clinic as I had been suffering from pain everywhere in my body, especially my feet and legs. I was constantly getting flu and chest infections. The clinic sister [at the Petervale Health Clinic] suggested an HIV test.

What a dreadful day! My results came. Oh! I thought of killing myself but then I wondered who would care for my beautiful children; nobody could replace their mom.

I cried, blaming myself for going ahead with the test, blaming the health workers for this bad news.

Luckily I was booked for several sessions with the counsellor [at the Bryanston Counselling Centre] who listened and allowed me to mourn my loss.

At work my performance was very poor and I felt I had to disclose my status to my employer. What a mistake! She looked at me with harsh and judgmental eyes.

I even wanted to redo the HIV test to see if it would give me a different result.

Slowly, with the help of the health workers and counselling, and by joining the group, I started to accept the virus in my body, to be strong and to be wise about my future choices.

I take vitamins to fight back, I take steps to strengthen my immune system, I attend the group for encouragement and support.

Am I doing something to fight this disease? YES!

SARAH (not her real name) writes:

I am 38 years old, the mother of two children. The day I heard about my status, I didn't want to be with people. I thought they could recognise me as positive.

I went to the [Petervale] clinic to have my baby's six-week check-up. I was so afraid the nurse would ask me why I am not breastfeeding and I would have to tell her my status.

But the nurse took my hands and talked kindly to me.

She booked for me to see a counsellor as my husband had died of the virus recently and I was very sad about it.

She gave me my life back. She really cared for my broken heart and loss of hope. She praised my conscientious, motherly care for my baby. She told me I had so much to live for. From the time I joined the [Bryanston] support group, I never isolated myself again.

I can walk without fear. If I am sick or stressed I know where to find care and comfort. I realise I am not the only one in this situation. I am accepted and loved.

WENDY TONER writes: In 2003, I started a support group for HIV/Aids-affected and -infected people, together with a colleague at the local health clinic in Petervale.

It was at first attended by a handful of patients, but has grown over the three years so that we have an average of 16 attendees. My colleague and I are counsellors with training and long experience in relationships, bereavement, trauma and HIV/Aids.

We structure the monthly meetings to include informative talks, guidance in healthy lifestyle choices, small group-sharing of difficulties such as disclosure and death, candlelight services for those we have lost and for the sick and suffering, caring for our food garden and, most of all, encouragement to live with this disease.

It would not have been possible without the wonderful support we were given by the sisters and staff of the clinic. We work as a team to bring hope to those who at first feel helpless and hopeless.

I write this today to impress the benefits of being in a support group and encourage those who can to start one and those who need to, to attend one.

It has been amazing to observe the transformation of those who attend our group - some of whom have attended since its inception.

They report that they feel free, and able to talk about any problem in a safe and caring environment.

They have been able to enlighten employers about the disease, and sometimes bring their employers to the meeting.

Friendships have blossomed and many who were desperately sick at first are now regaining strength and health since they started antiretroviral treatment and began following a healthy lifestyle.

We have laughed together and wept together ... isn't that how life should be?

* For more information, call Wendy on (011) 706-2091/083 654-4027

060702
ST060701