Sunday Times (Johannesburg) - April 30, 2006

Last week, we launched the campaign with South African celebrities taking public HIV tests, and invited readers to share their stories. Today we publish the first of these - how Bev White and her baby's nanny, Thembi (not her real name), dealt with the shocking news that Thembi was HIV positive

I TRUST Thembi with my baby's life. There is no higher level of trust.

Thembi tested HIV positive when our first baby, Natascha, was two months old. Thembi is her beloved nanny and has been the family's housekeeper and friend for 12 years.

We found out that Thembi was HIV-positive because she had bravely gone for a test after her 21-year old daughter had tested positive; Thembi had cared for her nasty abscess until it healed completely.

We discussed Thembi having an HIV test and assured her of our total support. Even so, the results were a shock to us. She looks after Natascha while I am at work. She is a second mommy: feeding, changing, caring, loving. My husband and all our family said it was my decision as to what to do.

I know that it is rarely through the caring for another that an HIV-positive person transmits the virus. It is through sexual intercourse without protection that innocent, loyal and trusting women find themselves in this situation.

Believe me, it was a hard thing for us both to accept. Thembi admits that she has had many sleepless nights. She never allowed her fear or anger to affect her sunny, smiling nature.

In order to cope, Thembi and I decided that we needed to know as much as possible. I had talked to a few doctors and one GP advised me to let our nanny go - not because of the HIV/Aids outcome, but because of the possible secondary infections over the years that could so easily be passed on to Natascha. Although I was angry and became stubborn, I realised the importance of his words.

Thembi and I then spent a few months together learning everything we could about HIV, spending time talking closely and trying to come to terms with what we both knew would have a huge impact on our lives.

I gathered all the information I could from all possible sources and passed it on. She, in turn, bravely confronted her family and friends on the East Rand and in Newcastle, and received mixed reactions.

We both went to the local clinic in Dawn Park, Boksburg, and I was told by the nurse what a brave "madam" I was , and that not many white women would support a black HIV-positive nanny. It brought tears to all our eyes, as it does now when I write this.

Thembi takes a day every month to go to the clinic for her weigh-in, her check-up and her vitamin pills, and she commits herself to a CD4 blood count check every six months or whenever it is necessary.

For Thembi and I to feel reassured at all times, I keep latex gloves in our kitchen first aid box, and plasters and bandages. In the 12 months since we found out Thembi's status, we have never had to use any of it - but it is there in case. I have also promised to assist financially if Thembi ever needs to start antiretroviral treatment. In return Thembi promises to keep herself so healthy that we hope this will never be needed.

Most of our family live overseas and they have all met Thembi. They know that Natascha (now 14 months) has a nanny who is HIV positive, and they respect and admire that we live positively with the virus, that we quietly continue giving health and wellbeing to each other and those around us, and that we don't let it scare us.

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