Sunday Times - Sunday, 21 December, 2003

If you are sexually active in South Africa today, you have a 50/50 chance of getting HIV/Aids. The only way to avoid this is to USE A CONDOM EVERY TIME you have sex.

I don't see why I should use a condom

Condoms stop body fluids from being shared between lovers during sex. It's the only contraceptive that protects you from pregnancy, HIV/Aids and other sexually transmitted infections (STIs).

Condoms are too small or too tight for me to wear

Shoo! How big are you? You can pull a condom over your fist and down your arm. You can also stretch one over your head. Experiment to find the perfect fit for you, and use them like a pro!

I feel shy about using a condom for the first time

Practise to give you confidence (alone or in sexy games with your partner). It's important to use condoms properly. Here are some useful tips:

Carry condoms with you (you never know when you might need one);

Check the expiry date on the packet;

Use a new one every time the guy comes, so always have a few, just in case;

You may need some help to slip inside your partner, but only use spit or KY jelly - no vaseline, baby oil or massage oil; they can cause the condom to split; and

A long nail or your zip could tear the condom, so be careful.

What if the condom comes off inside me?

This can happen if your man loses his erection while still inside you. Don't panic! Just hold the bottom of the condom and gently pull it out.

The condom split while my girl and I were having sex. What should we do?

If this happens, you can use emergency contraception within 72 hours (three days), but you may still have been infected with an STI - so get to a clinic and do what you gotta do.

I'm scared that if I insist on using a condom, my partner will think I'm being unfaithful

Using condoms shows care for you and your partner. Even if only one of you had one lover, you're still at risk. Talk to your partner about this. Also, if your partner doesn't trust you, it could mean he/she doesn't truly care about you, or has something to hide.

Are the condoms you get for free safe?

Free condoms from places like clinics and doctors' rooms are just as safe as the ones you buy. They are all tested and have to comply with the same standards. But check the expiry date and use them properly!

Condoms are boring and they don't feel as good as skin-to-skin

Come on, use your imagination! Today's condoms aren't the thick, uncomfortable helmets of the past. They're easy to use, have no side-effects or health risks and you don't need a prescription for them. For some extra fun, you can get them in different flavours and funky colours, so there's no need to get bored. A in't it better to sacrifice a bit of pleasure in exchange for piece of mind and no bombshells later?

REMEMBER:

Condoms can protect your body, but they can't protect your heart. Make sure you're ready for it before you have sex and talk to your partner about ways of keeping each other safe. Happy loving!

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Always watch for outdated information. This article first appeared in 2003. This material is designed to support, not replace, the relationship that exists between you and your doctor.

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