Sunday Times (Johannesburg) - Sunday 01 December 2002

"I used to be a very wild teenager," says Michelle, 19. "I had lots of boyfriends and they didn't always wear condoms."

Michelle fell pregnant at 16 and found she was carrying the virus after her baby was born.

"The doctor did a whole lot of blood tests and on my next visit told me I had HIV," she says. "I wasn't too stressed about it because I didn't know much about HIV/Aids."

Michelle's attitude changed when she learnt more about the fatal disease. "I told my mother straight up," explains Michelle. "She was very shocked and went to talk to the doctor who had diagnosed the disease. My dad told me to stop cooking for them."

Michelle went for counselling, but it took a year for the reality to sink in. "I went on an HIV counselling course and had to talk very directly about my feelings," she says, "That's when I broke down and cried because I felt like I was disintegrating and dying. That feeling never goes away."

She now counsels HIV-positive people at the Baragwanath Peri-Natal Research Unit, which helps her as much as it does the people she's helping. "It's really nice to talk to people who are in your shoes," she says. "Counselling others counsels me."

Michelle also goes to schools where she discloses her status and educates students about HIV. "Some people don't believe I have HIV because I don't look sick," she says. "They say I've been paid lots of money to tell a false story. This makes me sad because I want them to protect themselves and realise Aids is a real thing."

Michelle looks after herself well and makes sure she eats lots of fruit and vegetables as well as food that isn't too oily or fatty.

She isn't on antiretroviral medication but takes aloe vera to energise her immune system. "It drives me crazy that I can't get free antiretrovirals," she says. "Why should my future be cut short?"

She hasn't had any serious illnesses and says she's fine and happy - but there are days when HIV really gets her down. "Sometimes I wake up and think, God, I have Aids. But I keep going and try to maintain a positive outlook on life. I'm strong, I'm OK, I'm a survivor."

Some of you may know people who are suffering from Aids, and some of you may be infected with Aids yourselves.

Living with a virus that weakens your immune system means that you have no defence against things like pneumonia, TB and a whole lot of other nasty stuff. If you look after yourself, you could live for quite a while with HIV. But the reality is that it will lead to full-blown Aids, and there is no cure for that.

If you're living with someone who is infected, keep giving them your love, care and support. Instead of giving up, we should all let World Aids Day strengthen us and renew our hope. If we continue to work together as one world we can make a difference and beat the Aids challenge.

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