Important note: Information in this article was accurate in 2007. The state of the art may have changed since the publication date.

Reuters NewMedia - October 8, 2007
Michael Georgy

That's why she turned to The Positive Connection, an online dating agency that offers HIV-positive South Africans looking for love a way to get around the stigma of the disease.

"Everything goes well until a guy learns about my problem and dumps me," said Jeanette, who asked that her real name not be used.

"I just want to meet someone like me who can talk about it."

AIDS is still a taboo subject for millions of South Africans, despite its staggering toll: each day, about 1,000 people die of AIDS and related conditions.

Few people openly admit they have the disease -- fearful of losing partners, friends and jobs -- and this environment of shame has undermined the battle against the disease.

Ben Sassman, founder of The Positive Connection, says he offers HIV sufferers who fear the normal dating scene will only lead to more rejection a unique channel to build up their confidence, and maybe meet the right partner one day.

"We don't want people to cry on our shoulders and feel sorry for themselves. They must realise that managing the problem is possible. There are ordinary people like you and me," he said.

The fight against AIDS is a daunting task in South Africa. AIDS activists accuse the government of dragging its feet, leaving more and more people vulnerable to AIDS and HIV, the virus which causes it.

South African officials, including President Thabo Mbeki, have infuriated AIDS activists by questioning accepted AIDS science, pushing unproven treatments and failing to make anti-retroviral (ARV) drugs, now accepted as the frontline treatment for HIV/AIDS, readily available to all those in need.

"DOCTOR BEETROOT"

Health Minister Manto Tshabalala-Msimang, has been dubbed "Dr. Beetroot" for her promotion of beetroot, garlic and other foods as a treatment of HIV/AIDS.

"How can you fight a devastating problem when the leadership of the country has these crazy ideas?," asked Sassman.

It's a tough fight against a culture of denial.

Some infected husbands and wives hide the problem from each other, increasing the chance of their children being born HIV-positive.

To try and bring down social barriers, The Positive Connection pushes the motto "AIDS is not a death sentence" in a tag that runs across its Web site.

A question and answer section tries to end common misconceptions: "We don't need a condom for Sex." "HIV only affects gay men and drug users." "People over 50 do not get HIV."

Smooth-talking HIV-positive Clement charmed two smiling women as a jovial crowd sipped wine and soft drinks. It could have been a scene at any Johannesburg bar or nightclub.

In fact, it was a breakthrough for Sassman. Some users of his Web site let down their guard and agreed to meet face to face. It was the first time he had met some of them.

Most did not give their real names, but appeared comfortable. Perhaps a bit of progress in a country where an estimated 12 percent of the 47 million population are infected with HIV.

"When I found out I had AIDS I just wanted to walk to the railroad track and end it all. How could I tell my family? But in the end I decided not to so I could support my child," said Yantumba, standing beside her sister-in-law, also HIV-positive.

Today she is lighthearted, although the former health-care worker saw first hand how the disease ravages people. She and her sister-in-law joked about partying and meeting guys.

South Africa's government has unveiled a new HIV/AIDS plan to reduce infections and tackle anti-discrimination.

That may not happen for a long time. But it didn't stop Clement and his new friends having a good time, dancing to the rhythm as music blared. Clement dismisses ARV medications. His answer to fighting the disease is sheer willpower.

"I am going to live my life," said Clement, whose ex-partner and child are HIV-positive. "I will not give up."

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