New Vision (Kampala) - October 6, 2009
Irene Nabusoba

When Maliza lost her husband in 2002 to HIV, she resigned to death until her family dragged her to Mildmay Centre for treatment.

She did not know that she would also find love and hope for life again.

"While there, I discovered that Dr. Stephen Watiti helps HIV-positive people meet for courtship," says the lady who is getting married next month.

"I wrote a note and my phone number and left it under his door. Dr. Watiti called me back to thank me for not going on an infection spree. He would call me to meet some people or give them my number to get in touch with me, but I took long before appreciating anyone," she says.

Maliza says Dr. Watiti helped her find an 'angel': "My fiance loves me. He calls me to remind me to take my medicine and know whether I am fine. I cannot wait to wed. I will give Dr. Watiti a cock.

Dr Watiti is a senior medical officer at the MildMay Hospital, a specialised HIV/AIDS treatment and care facility in Lweza, along Entebbe Road.

His works have changed many people's lives going by the several 'thank you' cards hanging on the walls of his office.

There is one from some foreign students who were under his wing while on internship and the other cards are from patients who have been under his care.

But the most interesting are the ones from couples that have dated under his wing thanking him for enabling them find the love of their life or inviting him to their introductions and weddings.

Although his bigger responsibility is in counselling, treating and caring for people infected and affected by HIV/AIDS, Dr. Watiti says he meets many people who are HIV positive and want to get married but find difficulties getting partners.

"I link them up," he says. "Not that I'm a kayungirizi (matchmaker) but I try to be of help. I have over 10 couples who have gotten married while others are either dating or living normal sexual lives.

"I feel good putting a smile on people's faces especially those that have been dehumanised because of HIV," he says.

One of the beneficiaries of Watiti's counsel is Maria, (not real name) a pastor, who recently got married to a fellow pastor.

After a date-rape from a proposing soldier in 1984, Maria bid relationships and marriage goodbye when she discovered she was infected with HIV during the unfortunate incident.

Maria says: "I told God I may be sick but I do not want to carry the guilt and sin of infecting another innocent soul."

She busied herself in taking care of AIDS orphans, some of whom are also infected. But trouble started brewing when her adopted children started asking who their father was.

"One of the children asked: 'Should I say I do not know daddy's name? But when is he coming back?"

Maria says she told the children their father was coming any time and all they had to do was pray.

She tried in vain to gather courage to approach Dr. Watiti for help since she had heard that he helps people 'fall in love'. But the day some unknown person dumped a sick child at her doorstep changed all this.

Approaching Dr. Watiti to help enrol the baby on treatment gave her an opportunity to make her request.

"I expressed my desire to get married to a God-fearing man who would accept me and the over 50 children I take care of." Maria narrates.

"He opened his computer but although most were HIV-positive, they were not God-fearing. He then told me to wait and pray. I left my contact details and we kept in touch."

Dr. Watiti would call me occasionally to know my progress. He did not know some people were assessing me secretly after getting my number.

"Then on January 11, 2008, someone (my husband now) called me. When we met, we were compartible. He said he had got my number from Dr. Watiti.

After three months, we got married and are living happily," says the 41-year-old lady.

"Everyone was shocked to see me get married. My family had tried to get me husbands in vain. No one ever understood my problem. All they wanted was to get me off the shelf.

She says she has been counselling married couples since 1995 but when people would mention marriage, she would just keep quiet. "Now I am living the best days of my life in the blessed institution because of Watiti," she says.

Maria says Watiti's help does not end at that. As a born-again christian who suffered stigma while remarrying after losing a spouse to AIDS, Maria says Watiti follows you up with counselling.

"When Dr. Watiti speaks, he heals a lot of souls. There are many people affected but cannot talk. AIDS does not kill. It is our minds that wield the will or lose the battle. I used to be reserved, but now I have a person to share my life with," she says.

How and why does he do it?

My appointment with him was for 8:30am, but I met him in the parking lot 30 minutes earlier and we hit it off right away.

The cleaner was just finishing with another office when he opened his, displaying evidence of the previous day's activities - sand and paper waste on the floor. But rather than hurry the cleaner, he picked a broom and swept the office before he let me in. The lady cleaner clad in a customised uniform came rushing to apologise but Dr. Watiti just smiled courteously, mumbling, 'it is okay.'

Before we settled for the interview, someone called asking for the 100 frequently asked questions about HIV for a presentation he had to make on AIDS prevention.

As a regular writer in The New Vision with a column 'Face HIV with Dr Watiti', and a speaker at seminars on HIV-related stigma, Watiti has published a book: 'HIV and AIDS: 100 commonly asked questions based on his experience as a medical doctor and a person living with HIV. It is probably the reason he is the board chairman of the National Forum for People Living with HIV/AIDS in Uganda.

Maliza believes Watiti has the gift of studying individuals: "When he recommends you a person, it is an individual with values.

He does not deal with illmannered people. He likes people who appreciate the values of living positively and helping prevent HIV infections," she says.

Dr. Watiti says he does what he does because it is his social responsibility. Before I leave, a lady enters to thank him for helping her brother, who has unfortunately died.

"I should have returned earlier but was still harbouring painful memories of this place," she says. "I approached Dr Watiti to talk to my brother about HIV testing and treatment, when I realised he was dying in denial," she narrates to me.

Watiti listens intently before he asks whether the deceased had any children, if they have been tested and if they are safe.

I could only wonder how his day ends - the many phone calls, meetings, thank yous, news of those that have died....but above all, those seeking love!

-------------------------------------------------------

Do you know anyone who has played an important role in the fight against HIV/AIDS in their communities?

Nominate the person, indicating name, phone contact and what the person has done in his/her community to help people PREVENT HIV infection.

Also give your name and phone number. Write to: The Features Editor, The New Vision, P.O Box 9815, Kampala. Emil: feature@newvision.co.ug

091006
NV091010

Always watch for outdated information. This article first appeared in 2009. This material is designed to support, not replace, the relationship that exists between you and your doctor.

AEGiS presents published material, reprinted with permission and neither endorses nor opposes any material. All information contained on this website, including information relating to health conditions, products, and treatments, is for informational purposes only. It is often presented in summary or aggregate form. It is not meant to be a substitute for the advice provided by your own physician or other medical professionals. Always discuss treatment options with a doctor who specializes in treating HIV.

Copyright ©1980, 2009. AEGiS. All materials appearing on AEGiS are protected by copyright as a collective work or compilation under U.S. copyright and other laws and are the property of AEGiS, or the party credited as the provider of the content. .