Miami Herald - May 15, 2006
Andrea Robinson, arobinson@MiamiHerald.com

"I'm not ashamed," said Jean-Baptiste, an 18-year-old linebacker who admits to enduring ribbing from teammates. "Sometimes I get picked on about it. But my teammates listen to me. They respect me."

He and Mulatre belong to Boys 2 Men, a new mentoring program for males, particularly blacks and Hispanics, in Miami-Dade schools, churches and sports leagues.

Through lectures, films and skits, educators warn adolescents about the dangers of HIV/AIDS and the emotional turmoil that comes with risky sexual behavior.

Boys 2 Men creator Althea McMillan, a retired educator, started preaching about abstinence in 1992 -- a time she believed no one would listen.

So far, under a nonprofit corporation called Abstinence Between Strong Teens, she has set up 15 abstinence clubs in Miami-Dade schools and churches. Boys 2 Men was launched in January.

McMillan, 62, draws from her own unplanned pregnancy when she was in the 11th grade. She dropped out of school and got married -- a double-barreled hit for which she was not ready.

Three children and many years later, she divorced and enrolled at Miami Dade College and Florida International University, earning a degree in education. She worked with Miami-Dade Public Schools as a business instructor for nearly 27 years before retiring.

McMillan said she doesn't want today's youth to repeat her early mistakes. She wants them to build their self-esteem.

"We have to teach young people to fall in love with themselves," she said.

Abstinence may not be what most teens want to hear about when pop culture is laced with sexuality.

"It's all around us," Mulatre said.

The abstinence message may be gaining a foothold nationwide, with religious institutions and the Bush administration major proponents of health education programs with a similar focus.

In a 2004 national youth risk assessment survey by the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, 46.7 percent of high school students said they had had sexual intercourse -- down from 54 percent in 1991.

Not everyone supports the abstinence-only approach. Helen Reid, spokeswoman for Planned Parenthood of Miami, Palm Beach and the Treasure Coast, cautions that abstinence may change a minor's professed attitudes -- but not behavior -- about sex.

"Kids are saying one thing and doing another," Reid said.

TALENTS, VALUES

Boys 2 Men's senior presenter, Darryl Auberry, urges young men to learn who they are and know what they want in life. He tells them to focus on education, their talents and career aspirations -- along with values, including honesty, compassion and commitment.

"You are building your life by the decisions you are making now," Auberry recently told upperclassmen at North Miami High.

Marcus McKyer, 19, best buddy to Mulatre and Jean-Baptiste, wishes he'd learned that lesson earlier. McKyer lost his virginity in sixth grade and dropped out of high school when he joined a gang in Georgia. He quit the gang when his girlfriend gave birth to Marcus Jr.

The couple are no longer together. But having a son opened McKyer's eyes to his own choices. He moved to South Florida, enrolled at North Miami High and landed on the basketball team with Mulatre. McKyer isn't a Boys 2 Men member, but in speeches to classes he warns schoolmates not to make his mistake.

"I tell them how hard it is, especially in high school," McKyer said.

"The responsibilities he has, I'm not ready for," Jean-Baptiste added.

Experts say girls traditionally are more likely to embrace the idea of abstinence. Still, they, too, take away wisdom from the Boys 2 Men lectures.

MESSAGE RESONATES

A talk about the far-reaching impact of one male having children in multiple homes resonated with Dalourny Nemorin, a 16-year-old sophomore in the health science academy. "I don't think guys understand if you have kids you're responsible for that kid, too," she said.

In addition to belonging to Boys 2 Men, Mulatre and Jean-Baptiste are among 82 peer health educators at their school who advocate abstinence to fellow students.

On Thursday, they found a receptive audience with a group of cosmetology students.

"We talk about what is happening now, instead of someone who talks about what happened back then," said Liddy Doreus, 17.

With graduation looming and college next fall, Jean-Baptiste and Mulatre predict their pledge will hold. Basketball, they say, is their "anti-drug" to keep them out of trouble.

"We know decisions have consequences. It's on us," Jean-Baptiste said.

BOYS 2 MEN PROGRAM

For more information about the Boys 2 Men program, call the Abstinence Between Strong Teens office at 305-969-7829.

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