Miami Herald - December 9, 2005
Andrea Robinson, arobinson@herald.com

Lee Ann Smith, 64, begins her days by 6:30 a.m. She rouses her five great-grandchildren up for school, fixes them breakfast, gets them dressed and out the door. Then she cleans her Overtown apartment, runs to the store to purchase money orders to pay bills, and lugs clothes to the corner laundromat.

Now and then she squeezes in a medical exam, intent on maintaining her health so she can care for her deceased granddaughter's children. "Whew. It is always something," Smith said, getting winded just recounting her daily schedule.

Smith loves her charges, ages 6 to 13, but concedes she did not expect to spend her later years being a parent. She is among a growing number of older Americans who are primary caregivers to a second or third generation of children -- and experts say the process of parenting again brings stress that many are unable to handle.

Today, URGENT Inc., a Miami nonprofit agency, hosts a conference to discuss how Smith and other older Floridians can cope. The conference will be at the Florida International University Biscayne Bay Campus in North Miami.

HIDDEN PROBLEM

It is a hidden problem that more grandparents face each year, said Saliha Nelson, vice president of URGENT Inc. -- Urban Renewal Greater Enhancement National Team.

Florida ranks fourth in the nation -- behind Oklahoma, Mississippi and Wisconsin -- for the percentage of children in families headed by a grandparent. The Florida Area Agency on Aging estimates about 29,700 grandparents in Miami-Dade are responsible for raising their grandchildren. In Broward, 38,435 grandparents live in a household with one or more of their grandchildren under 18, according to the Aging and Disability Resource Center of Broward County.

Nationwide, about 5.5 million children younger than 18 live in a household with grandparents, according to figures from the 2000 U.S. Census. Often, the grandparents become chief caregiver after a parent dies or loses custody through legal action.

BALANCING PROBLEMS

University of Florida sociologist Terry Mills said that middle-aged grandparents face problems trying to balance their newfound parenting roles with careers and their own personal interests. Mills said black grandparent caregivers are more likely than their white counterparts to be unemployed, live below the poverty line and care for more grandchildren.

Gerontology researchers from the University of Toronto and the University of California at Berkeley in 1997 wrote that 37 percent of grandmothers reported their mental health worsened since becoming full-time caregivers.

Tomeka Napper, the URGENT conference coordinator, said one reason for the summit is to let grandparents hear from experts about maintaining or improving their health, learning what financial and social services resources are available and navigating the legal system to get custody of children.

CHANCE TO VENT

The conference also will give grandparents a chance to vent with adults who face similar situations, Napper said. In addition to stress and exhaustion, caregivers feel isolated from friends who do not have custody of their grandchildren. Most times, they do not divulge what they are going through, she said.

"It's almost like pulling a comb through some really bad hair. They do not like to say what their needs are," Napper said.

Ida Tafari, an anthropology professor at Florida International University, said drugs and AIDS has taken a lethal toll on black families in urban areas, and that more grandmothers find themselves raising their children's children.

"Many of these grandmothers have lost their children to hospital, jail or the cemetery. It's so common that we have a hit comedy show -- Bernie Mac -- that reiterates the experience," Tafari said, referring to the popular Fox Television series in which the title character is raising the children of his drug-addicted sister.

To help families adjust, URGENT schedules outings where children and adults can relax together. Last Saturday, Napper played chaperon during a performance of The Nutcracker at Dade County Auditorium.

GREAT-GRANDMOTHER

Smith, the Overtown great-grandmother, said the group interactions have changed her perspective on her situation.

"I was surprised there were so many grandparents raising grandkids. Some of them have more than I have," she said. She had worked full-time as a housekeeper at a popular Miami Beach Resort, set her own schedule and spent her money on herself. Her plan was to retire and work part-time if she needed extra cash.

Then the children -- four boys and one girl -- arrived and she had to quit her job. No one else in the family could care for them.

Smith had to deal with the children's anger after their mother died of complications related to Hepatitis B in 2002. One of the boys acted out so much Smith thought she would have to give him up. Instead, she enrolled him and two others in therapy.

"They wouldn't know what to think if I didn't have them here," she said. "They don't know a thing about great-grandma, they know grandma."

And sometimes, Smith said, she's known as just ma.

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