Miami Herald - November 22, 2003
Steve Rothaus, srothaus@herald.com

"Two or three times a week, he'd be found snuggled in the room named for him," library President Robert Nathans said. "It was delightful. You'd always know where you'd find him or see him."

PRESENTATION TONIGHT

Early in 2003, the Gay & Lesbian Foundation of South Florida named Graves its Humanitarian of the Year. The award, sponsored by The Herald, will be presented tonight at the foundation's seventh annual recognition dinner.

Graves, 65, died Oct. 13 of an embolism. His partner of 23 years, Raymond Trevino, will accept the award, which "surprised and humbled" Graves.

"He was the sweetest, most kind, most generous mild-mannered person with a concern for all people who were oppressed," Trevino said.

Graves inherited his fortune. "He was more or less the guardian for the money, a steward," Trevino said. "It wasn't to be spent on himself as such, but to wisely parcel it out."

In addition to helping fund the Stonewall Library (which now contains more than 10,000 books), Graves gave $303,000 to the Metropolitan Community Church's Sunshine Cathedral for the 2001 purchase of its Fort Lauderdale campus. One of the church buildings is named for Graves.

"Philanthropy -- that was John's work," Trevino, 47, said. "He went to work every day as a philanthropist."

Last year, the Dade Human Rights Foundation (which donates thousands of dollars in grants to local nonprofit gay organizations) changed its name to the Gay & Lesbian Foundation of South Florida. The Miami-based foundation now gives money to Broward nonprofits including the gay community center and Stonewall Library.

The foundation chose to honor Graves for dual reasons, according to Executive Director David Phelps.

"This was a marriage made in heaven, that we could recognize someone who was doing good work in Broward/Fort Lauderdale, and at the same time recognize our commitment in the area," Phelps said.

The foundation is also honoring Bacardi, South Florida AIDS activists Marleine Bastien and Damian Pardo, Oscar-nominated film star Ian McKellen and award-winning playwright Terrence McNally.

McNally, who won Tonys for Kiss of the Spider Woman (1993), Love! Valour! Compassion! (1995), Master Class (1996) and Ragtime (1998), will receive the foundation's National Impact Award.

"My being out and writing plays about that experience, I hope I've challenged audiences on that," he said by phone from his part-time home in Long Island, N.Y.

One of McNally's earliest plays, And Things That Go Bump in the Night (1965), had a gay theme.

'I was always out. If you write your first play and it's 'gay,' you get typed: a gay playwright," McNally said. "People referred to me as a homosexual man. Gay wasn't prevalent. I didn't think to sue them for libel because I was a gay man.

'SMALL STEPS'

"Being out as a gay man or a gay woman is the most important thing we can do," he said. "Progress is being made every day in little incremental steps. And I do believe in small steps. And my plays are small steps."

When he's not in New York, McNally, 65, lives quietly at his home in Old Town, Key West.

"Some people recognize my name, but not my face," McNally said. "I'm not a tourist attraction the way Tennessee Williams was."

Still, McNally is an active member of Key West's arts community. Last spring, he wrote a one-act play that helped raise $30,000 for the Key West Theatre Festival.

McNally will attend tonight's foundation dinner with partner Tom Kirdahy, who practices poverty law in Suffolk County, N.Y., for people with AIDS.

"He keeps people from being evicted," McNally said. "People like him deserve awards more than people like me."

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