Miami Herald - Saturday, March 31, 2001

When his parents went to jail, Dixon went to the basketball court.

When his parents went to their graves, victims of AIDS, even then, Dixon went to the basketball court.

Stepping onto the court was like passing through a doorway into a spotless compartment of his mind that was purged of sadness and anger and hopelessness.

He didn't have to think about the agonizing descent of his mother and father, both dead by 40 and by the time he was 17.

When Dixon takes the Metrodome court tonight, he will do it in tribute to his late parents, Juanita and Phil. If not for them, he would not be the starting shooting guard for Maryland in the NCAA Final Four's second semifinal, the player with a build as skinny and airy as a straw but who is most feared by Duke in the ACC rivals' fourth meeting of the season.

At the free-throw line, Dixon will touch his heart, where he has a tattoo of his mother's face, and rub his left biceps, where he has a tattoo of their names, Nita and Phil, "so I can keep them close to me," he said.

On his right arm is his personal motto: "Only the strong survive."

DIXON'S UPBRINGING MADE HIM STRONG

Somehow, despite their detours into Baltimore's drug labyrinth, his parents showed him the way.

Despite their weaknesses, they made him resilient.

"Losing my parents was tough," Dixon said Friday. "That taught me how to stay strong, how to survive. I've basically been on my own and had to stay strong through the whole ordeal."

Dixon could have rejected his parents as bad examples, as failures. Instead, he and his older brother Phil talk about their parents as if they were flawed pearls.

"What happened with my parents is not as tragic as it seems," said Phil, who plans to fly to Minneapolis today. "Through their love, they showed us how to love. They never once abandoned us. They always placed us in the arms of an aunt or grandmother or cousin. Whenever they disappeared, we knew they'd come back.

"There's nothing bad I can say about my parents."

Phil and Juan both say they've forgiven their parents for an addiction they could not kick.

"I'd ask my mom why she chose to get high and she said she was going to stop -- soon, soon," Phil said. "Right before they passed away, they were on the road to recovery, but their past caught up with them. I tell people on the streets that it's an illness, a chemical dependency that can be overcome."

REST OF THE FAMILY MADE A DIFFERENCE

Dixon, a 22-year-old junior, has never thought of himself as an orphan. He was sheltered by an enormous family tree.

The story of a courageous family's will to save what could easily have been a lost generation is the most inspirational of this Final Four.

Dixon's brother Phil is a Baltimore police officer.

One of his aunts is the president of the Baltimore City Council who recently created an AIDS commission and secured increased funding for treatment of Baltimore's 60,000 drug addicts. Another is a supervisor at Bell Atlantic. An uncle became his surrogate father.

One grandmother raised six of her own children, then Juanita's four kids. Another grandmother was a civic activist who visited housing projects and persuaded dropouts to go back to school.

What about the playground stars who don't have such support systems? There are thousands of Juan Dixons who never make it to college.

"I had a lot of people leading me in the right direction and hopefully that can influence other people never to give up," Dixon said.

From age four until high school, Dixon grew up in the house of his maternal grandmother, Roberta Graves, 72, who also took care of Juanita.

"She had her problems and she associated with the wrong people, but she was a good mother," Graves said.

Dixon was able to enroll at the parochial school Calvert Hall, thanks to the financial contributions of his aunt Janice Dixon. That's when he moved in with cousin Sherrice Driver, who lived closer to the school.

"My side of the family, we were the education fanatics," said Sheila Dixon, another aunt who is the city council president. "We gave him tough love, the orientation toward goals. His mother's side gave him cuddly love, the sensitivity toward others."

Dixon's high school coach, Mark Amatucci, recalls how a team of relatives took responsibility for different aspects of Dixon's upbringing. They were the gatekeepers who prevented him from going astray in his northeast Baltimore neighborhood.

"His brother Phil and uncle Mark [Smith] were the male role models," Amatucci said. "Sherrice was delegated the task of teaching him time management. Aunt Janice made him do his homework. It was like they were on patrol."

Dixon's father was in and out of jail and absent for much of Dixon's youth, but by all accounts Dixon was devoted to his troubled mother.

"Juanita was raised a Jehovah's Witness, but in high school she became kind of a class clown because she'd led such a sheltered life," said Sheila Dixon, who introduced her friend Juanita to her brother Phil. Both gregarious souls, they eventually married.

"They would give you the shirt off their back," Sheila Dixon said. "They wanted to be accepted, and that led them to the wrong crowd. My brother was easily influenced and he liked hanging out on the street. First he experimented with glue and it got worse from there."

Juanita died when Juan was 15. Toward the end, she was in and out of the hospital or being treated by nurses at her mother's house. Juan was stoic through it all.

"He really internalized his feelings," Sheila Dixon said. "When he was upset, he'd get on the court and play. That's where you'd find him."

Said Dixon: "Basketball was definitely an escape for me. In the summertime, my brother and I played all day long and all night long."

Phil got his AA degree in jail and was holding down a city government job when HIV turned into full-blown AIDS. He died in a hospice when Juan was 17.

"One day Juan told me his dad was coming to the end and would it be OK if he missed practice to go to the funeral," Amatucci said. "I was concerned because he never opened up. He never revealed his emotions -- except on the court. That's where he got his release."

When Dixon steps on the court, he'll find his sanctuary. When he thinks of his relatives and their sacrifices, he'll find his fan club. When he touches his tattooed skin, he'll find his inspiration.

"We were adults at age 10," Phil said. "In one sense, our parents prepared us for the toughest moments. We witnessed their downfall, and that has made us more determined to succeed."
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