Miami Herald (MH) - Tuesday, June 25, 1991
Ozzie Osborne; Herald Staff Writer

"Some people," he says, "call it 'survivor's guilt.' I consider it a reward for trying, and I greet each new day with a prayer of thanks and praise."

Last summer he had pneumocystis pneumonia (PCP) and other ailments that left him temporarily unable to sit or stand without falling.

"There were six of us in the hospital with PCP," he says. "I alone remain to tell the tale. And herein lies the blessing of AIDS. Life has greater meaning and richness when one has experienced near death.

"The simple act of walking in the sunshine of my Key West paradise is so very much appreciated."

Not only does he have AIDS, he has been divorced, lost a son in a bicycle accident, is estranged from another son, ended a seven-year relationship that meant much to him and was forced to sell his business and leave the Cayman Islands in 1985 when he was suspected of having AIDS. He came to Key West then.

Leidal, who is 50, has spent a lifetime fighting a weight problem, avoiding salt and fattening foods such as ice cream. Now, his doctor wants him to gain back as much as he can of the 90 pounds he lost this past year.

"I am a svelte 190 pounds and holding my own at that weight and eating like a horse," he says. "I call it the AIDS diet, and it works."

When Leidal first started feeling ill some 15 years ago while living in Southern California, AIDS was unheard of. Still, he thinks the symptoms he had -- severe diarrhea, night sweats, depression -- indicated that he was suffering from the first stages of what later developed into AIDS. In 1985, he was diagnosed as having the human immunodeficiency virus, which is believed to cause AIDS. In 1988 he was diagnosed as having AIDS.

Over the years, he has taken dozens of medications, ranging from Tylenol to AZT. He does not tolerate a full dose of AZT (the drug currently considered the most effective one in treating AIDS), so he takes only the accepted minimum dose.

"My idea of heaven is waking some morning to find no prescription bottles cluttering my nightstand," he says.

Leidal says he frequently allows the isolation of AIDS to get to him.

"I've learned who my true friends are and try to mask my disappointment with those who find it hard relating," he says. "Then, too, I understand why invitations no longer come. There are days when it is just not possible to leave the house, so I decline.

"Thank God most days allow for socialization; but when those days come, most people have given up calling. So persons with AIDS are alone, hurting and too proud to pick up a phone."

He adds that he is thankful for the assistance he gets through AIDS Help, a community organization that helps with rent and transportation to doctors.

He gets $406 a month in Social Security, and Medicaid pays for up to a dozen prescriptions a month.

Leidal says he often asks himself: "Why do I survive when so many don't?"

He says he takes anti-depressants and meditates, watches his diet and sees movies and socializes at The Livingroom, an organization he helped set up.

"If you are aware of anyone with AIDS, the best thing you can do is to encourage them to keep active, involved and alive. HIV can get one down.

"Sharing, hugging, relating and helping others is marvelous therapy and more effective than AZT. I consider six hugs a day a mandatory minimum.

"And I am kind to myself; I sleep for weeks."

Finally, says Leidal, the most important therapy is love.

"I have been very open about my disease," he says. "That means many people who can handle it are there for me and let me know they care.

"Although I could not prepare a meal myself for nearly 12 weeks, I never went hungry. A caring roommate, visiting nurses and friends from Metropolitan Community Church kept me fed and thriving.

"Right now, I am reasonably healthy and experience very many really great days. The highs of sunny days when I feel like getting out produce a euphoria and love of life no synthetically induced 'high' could."

CAPTION: PHOTO George Leidal (s)
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