Chicago Tribune - February 28, 2005
Dawn Turner Trice, dtrice@tribune.com

Many of you were outraged that this is happening. You asked why parents and the police aren't doing more to stop these men.

One reader suggested that I neglected to write that one of the main reasons older men seek out younger girls these days is because they want to have sex while diminishing their chances of contracting the AIDS virus.

Many of you, and I must say far more than I even suspected, said this behavior isn't confined to just one community. Among the callers was a suburban Northfield woman whose 15-year-old daughter is pregnant by a 27-year-old who was passing for 18. (The mother said he looks much older when he doesn't shave his mustache.)

A former colleague wrote to tell me that earlier this month she attended an awards ceremony for volunteers of Family Matters, an after-school program in the Rogers Park neighborhood. At the ceremony, middle-school girls recited a poem and performed a dance explaining that they feel disrespected and violated when grown men try to pick them up.

Tawanna Brown, director of the teen girls program with Family Matters, said that the 11- to 14-year-olds with whom she works have been telling her some pretty harrowing tales about what men say to them on the street.

"These girls are expressing a lot of fear, anger and pure frustration," said Brown. "They've been exploring how their bodies react around these men. Their stomachs become nervous. Their hands shake and their hearts beat faster."

She said some even feel ashamed of their developing bodies. One girl started carrying her book bag so that it strategically hung over her derriere because she was tired of men making lewd comments.

There have always been dirty old men, but times indeed have changed.

Brown and I--we're both 39--talked about growing up and always being tall for our age. Back when we were teens, men might drive up and try to proposition us while we were walking down the street. But most of the time, when the men pulled close enough to see we were too young, they would say something like, "Jail bait!" and drive off.

There was a time also when the eyes of the community seemed to be forever present and on us. Parents, who held tightly onto our reins, didn't have to hover every moment because some neighbor, man or woman, would feel free to reprimand us if necessary about what we were wearing, saying or, it seemed, anticipating.

Life wasn't perfect back then. But this is different.

The teenagers at Chicago Vocational Career Academy, whose project started this dialogue, told me repeatedly that too many young girls are "dressing too provocatively" and some are looking for someone who can take care of them and make them feel whole.

Too many parents aren't instilling that sense of wholeness, or self-worth, that would embolden girls to tell these guys to, let's just say, take a hike.

Without these safety nets, the girls become perfect prey for the predators.

Essence, the popular black women's magazine, has been writing about how girls and young women are defining themselves in this post-women's lib era in a yearlong series that addresses rap and hip-hop's role. The series is called "Take Back the Music."

It should be required reading for those influenced greatly by rap music and, lest we forget, television pimp shows like ABC's "The Bachelor."

Many readers asked why police aren't increasing patrols near schools, grocery stores, bus stops, etc.

While police do have a role in this, youth-police relations aren't always the best.

"Some girls are afraid to tell anybody," said Brown. "And how do you tell an officer, 'A man looked at me in a funny way,' or, 'He said something to me that was untoward?' How do you put your finger on a look or a comment that may be borderline, or one that may not be, but is equally disturbing?"

I say it's time for another liberation movement. Such movements start with small voices crying out and eventually rising to the rafters. These girls' voices are rising. We just have to join in.

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