Bay Windows - December 4, 2003
Rudy Kikel

Birth date: "May 8, 1973. I'm 30 years old."

Sign: Taurus

Have you heard anything about Taurus that seems true of you? "If I want something I try to get it. I don't give up."

Current residence: Bay Village, Boston.

Ethnic roots: "European Latin. My mother is from Spain; my father has some German blood."

Religion: "Catholic." Practicing? "Not really. I stopped going to church. I felt that because I was gay, the church was not accepting. I feel out of place. I still believe in God, Jesus and the Virgin Mary, I still pray. And I don't believe God will judge me at the end of the day.

E-mail address: gerescab@hotmail.com

Occupation: "Hospitality business. I work in a hotel, as a concierge at the Chandler Inn, Boston."

Points of origin: "I was born in Sonora, Mexico. I come from a well-known family in Mexico, very conservative Catholic. A close-minded society. I am number six of seven children. I was always the grumpy one, not happy, sad, when I was a little kid. I was never satisfied. A lonely kid in school, with very few friends. I was always harassed, in school and high school, for being too sensitive for a male. I was always the last one to be picked for teams."

Did they or you think you were gay? "They called me Daisy, making fun of me as a gay man. I just thought I was different. After that I decided to study international business in Monterrey, Mexico. I just wanted to get out of my hometown and feel free for the first time.

Did you feel free? "Not really. At that time I knew I was gay, but I didn't want other people to know. I had to lie a lot to people. I felt that I wasn't authentic. Unlike at my elementary and high schools, at University I was very popular, in charge of school trips, symposia, social events. Everybody knew my name. I was free in a way, but didn't accept myself completely. I was still dating girls.

"Upon graduation, as a B.A. in International Business, I got a job in Guadalajara, a city where nobody knew my name or where I come from. I was working for a jewelry factory, in charge of imports, pearls and stones. While there I met two American guys from Boston, and I became a very good friend of theirs.

"The job I had wasn't well paid and I wasn't happy in the gay life in Guatalajara. I got arrested for being gay, coming out of a gay club. I was holding hands with a guy. They told me that being gay is not legal in Mexico, which isn't true, and also that it's immoral. I spent the weekend in jail, Friday to Monday.

"I told my two friends about this situation, and they invited me to visit them in Boston. I fell in love with the city and felt real freedom here. I felt that I could be a real person here.

"I sold my car, got my permits to live and work in the U.S. Two months of being here, I tested positive. And my life changed completely. I lost interest in business. I felt like I'd lost my dreams. I had no hope. I kept my secret for a month, and then decided to tell my closest friends in Boston.

"I was working as a part-time caterer, and then got my job at the Chandler Inn as a desk clerk. I thought working in a hotel isn't stressful. And I've been at the hotel since then, with people who are friendly and familiar with HIV. They don't have a problem with my status.

"The first year of having HIV was very difficult for me; in the second year I started to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I decided to deal with my disease and started looking for help since I was depressed. I feel lucky to be here in Boston where there's a lot of hope for people like me. And I'm grateful to find such wonderful people when I was in despair. I met my best friends in Boston on account of the disease."

How did you come to be a gay HIV spokesperson? "There is a company in San Francisco that ran ads about this campaign, the Better World advertisements. They interviewed 25 gay male positive men, and I was one of five chosen. I was surprised that they chose me. I thought it was a good way to help the Boston community, since they'd helped me a lot. I think I'm doing a good thing. I hope I'm helping other people to deal with the disease."

What actually do you do? "It's a world-wide web site and campaign. People ask me questions through the web site regarding HIV and AIDS. My message is 'Condoms protect me too,' from other strains of the virus and other STDs."

Your message is for people with HIV? "It's for both, protecting the negative from being infected and helping the positive from being reinfected." (You can reach Gerardo at the web site, at www.hivstopswithme.org)

Are they looking for more volunteers? "They're looking for new cities to launch the campaign, but Massachusetts is the only city on the East Coast right now in which this campaign exists, because the commonwealth has been supportive."

I dream, in 10 years, of "having an HIV vaccine that can cure me and professionally to own my own hotel."

Hobbies? "I like doing things outdoors, like hiking, walking on the beach, shopping, dining out with friends; and I love being at home as well as traveling to exotic places-I've been to Rio de Janeiro, Porto Vallarta, Southern Chile, and of course Spain.

Do you have a partner? "No. I was dating someone last year, but he dumped me because of my status. He wasn't comfortable being in bed with me. He didn't know much about HIV."

Are you looking? "Yes. I'm always looking for someone to share my life with."What are you looking for in a partner? "Someone smart, educated, independent; someone who accepts me with my disease; someone with a positive attitude."

What attribute of yours do people most comment upon? "They always say I'm a really nice person with a great heart."

Are they right? "Yes. I am."

031204
BY031206

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