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Zimbabwe matchmaker vows to conquer HIV stigma

Agence France-Presse - November 29, 2006
Fanuel Jongwe

HARARE, Nov 29, 2006 (AFP) - Delia Masumbe's world caved in when she was ditched by her fiance of five years three years ago after she tested HIV-positive ahead of their marriage planned for weeks later.

"From an expectant bride-to-be I was suddenly lonely, emotionally stressed and I saw nothing but gloom ahead when my boyfriend dumped me," says the 25-year-old beauty therapist in an upmarket neighborhood of Zimbabwe's capital.

"I started wasting away rapidly, I was disorientated and for some time I was contemplating committing suicide."

But the launch five months ago of the first dating agency in Zimbabwe for people living with HIV/AIDS was to give Masumbe new hope.

"I am in love again," says a boisterous Masumbe who was among the first to join the dating agency, Hapana Asina, launched by lawyer Lutanga Shaba five months ago.

"I have boyfriend who is also HIV positive and I cannot remember ever being happier."

Hapana Asina, whose name is derived from the refrain of a popular local Shona language love song meaning "there is a match somewhere for everyone," seeks to give people living with HIV/AIDS new confidence to "claim the right to a relationship."

At least 100 people are on the "searching" list at any time while some like Masumbe have are enjoying new relationships after suffering years of stigma, Shaba says.

A 30-year-old accountant who insisted on being identified only by his first name Danai is dating a nurse whom he met through the agency after a three year span of heartbreaks and ill-fated relationships and ultimate rejection once he disclosed his HIV status to a new date.

In a country with a makeshift health system and people living with HIV often die of curable opportunistic illnesses due to lack of medicine, the perception on HIV/AIDS among many Zimbabweans is one of a slow death sentence while people living with the virus are treated as "lethal."

Zimbabwe is among the countries worst hit by the HIV/AIDS pandemic with at least 1.8 million people living with HIV and at least 3,000 deaths weekly attributed to HIV/AIDS illness, according to the national AIDS council.

After suffering rejection when she tested HIV positive Shaba says her idea when she launched Hapana Asina was "to join hands with those who were shunned after testing HIV-positive to transcend the stigma attached to HIV/AIDS."

"The purpose is to show the world that one still functions as all people do after testing HIV-positive," Shaba says.

"We also want to tell those living with HIV that they should not be afraid or feel ashamed about their medical condition. They should not isolate and feel sorry for themselves.

"They should bear in mind that according to statistics one in four Zimbabweans are living with HIV so there are enough of us to take care of each other."

To enlist with the dating service, which Shaba says is a mix of the traditional matchmaking paternal aunt and the western dating agency, one arranges a meeting at the agency's offices in a quiet suburb.

Shaba says she personally draws up her clients' profiles and their preferences before shuffling through the profiles in her "database" -- a flat office file -- to link up likely matches.

Her catalogue of clients ranges from a 19-year-old woman to a 56-year-old man coming from varied backgrounds including self-employed small-scale traders to lawyers and business executives but all of them city dwellers.

Shaba recites a list of successful matches including "a woman who was rejected by family and friends has become more of a friend and calls regularly to tell me how happy she is with her new-found love."

She says the agency has swelled in months from a one-woman show to a steadily growing social group with at least 100 registered members at a time.

The service she insists is "strictly for serious people looking for a decent relationship."

"If there are people who think I am running a brothel where they can come for an easy catch, this is not the place," Shaba says.

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