Mail & Guardian Online - May 30, 2007
Joan Dommisse**
* how to talk to your partner about getting an HIV test before having sex;
* how to resist pressure from girlfriends/boyfriends to have sex;
* how to discuss using a condom with your partner;
* where to get tested for HIV;
* where to get HIV/Aids treatment; and
* how to prevent pregnancy.
We cannot deny that a need to talk about the difficult issues listed above is a clear indication that teenagers and young adults are keenly aware of the dangers of HIV infection and that they are desperate to find solutions. With this in mind, it seems to make no sense that high-risk sexual behaviour is rife at school level. The survey reveals that more than half of the sexually experienced young people who took part in the survey reported that they do not always use condoms. And, of the 57% of sexually active women and girls that fell pregnant, 62% did not want to have a child. We know about the "baby boom" that has struck high schools, and a number of those babies born to school girls are likely to be HIV-positive and unwanted. There are no simple solutions to these "difficult issues". First, educators and parents have to accept that the majority of 15- to 18-year-olds are sexually active and do not practise safe sex. We cannot afford to deal with the runaway infection rate in South Africa with blinkers on. Preaching abstinence or assuming your child is a virgin will just mean you are moving further away from the reality of HIV infection. What teenagers are asking adults to do is talk openly about difficult sexual issues. How do we do this when we all know that many adults are unable to talk openly to their partners about sexual issues?
Let us for a moment imagine we can, through the prism of the survey, look into the mind of a young South African of today. Generally, the survey establishes that they feel optimistic, have clear goals, are hopeful about the future and can depend on their friends and family. But what emerges alongside this picture is a sense of foreboding. HIV is imprinted on the screen of their minds in big letters. Questions arise that have no answers. Will I get a job? Will I have enough money to support a family? Will I become infected with HIV in the next 10 years? If educators can see into the minds of learners, it is easier to accommodate their needs.
What emerges as vitally important is the need to ensure that learners perform well academically and extra-murally and gain confidence in their abilities, whether these are speaking skills, ball techniques or mathematical talents. We need to shift from an emphasis on competition to affirmation of each individual. Learners with such a weight on their shoulders need reassurance that the future can be hopeful and they need lashings of love, praise and encouragement. We can take our cue from the reaction of young people to the messages about HIV/Aids transmitted on radio and TV. Messages about fear and death turn them off. They favour messages that are hopeful and tap into young people's aspirations. HIV/Aids has presented itself at a time when sexual mores have changed and innocence seems to be a thing of the past, largely due to the media and new technology. Our young people fall in love and make love and bear children not in a Garden of Eden but in a Garden of Death. Every school has a message, whether spoken or unspoken, and the time may have arrived to up-date the message we are sending out in line with the difficult issues our learners face. What I hope to cover in my next article is a number of practicable ideas on communication and listening skills -- suggested by writers such as Nancy Kline, author of Time to Think -- to enable us to speak openly to learners.
Joan Dommisse can be contacted at jdommisse@telkomsa.net
070530
MG070504
Copyright © 2007 - Daily Mail & Guardian. For information about the content or for permission to redistribute, publish or use for broadcast, contact the publisher.
AEGiS is a 501(c)3, not-for-profit, tax-exempt, educational corporation. AEGiS is made possible through unrestricted funding from Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS, Elton John AIDS Foundation, the National Library of Medicine, Pacific Life Foundation and donations from users like you.
Always watch for outdated information. This article first appeared in 2007. This material is designed to support, not replace, the relationship that exists between you and your doctor.
AEGiS presents published material, reprinted with permission and neither endorses nor opposes any material. All information contained on this website, including information relating to health conditions, products, and treatments, is for informational purposes only. It is often presented in summary or aggregate form. It is not meant to be a substitute for the advice provided by your own physician or other medical professionals. Always discuss treatment options with a doctor who specializes in treating HIV.
Copyright ©1980, 2007. AEGiS. All materials appearing on AEGiS are protected by copyright as a collective work or compilation under U.S. copyright and other laws and are the property of AEGiS, or the party credited as the provider of the content. .