Question:

I live in St. Louis, MO and my buddy lives in Orlando, FL. I'm going to hangout with him and my other 2 buddies that live in Orlando sometime this late spring or early summer. My friend Brian has HIV. He was infected with it at age 14 by taking herion. He is 20 now. I am one of the few people that know about it. I know that he is sexually active and I know that he really doesn't want anybody else to know about his dirty little secret. I hate to see him angry and depressed at times, and I just tell him to move forward. Should I spill the beans to my friends, or should I act as if he doesn't have it?

Answer provided by:

Octavio Vallejo, M.D., MPH
Faculty, UCLA Pacific AIDS Education and Training Center

You have been an excellent friend providing the adequate level of respect and confidentiality with the entrusted information about the health condition of your friend. You can not spoil that by sharing this information to others without your HIV+ friend's permission. You will lose a friend. What you can do is to encourage him to share this information with the people he really trusts and the ones who will respect and honor the confidential nature of this information. Also, you can start educating your other friends about HIV and how is transmitted and how is not transmitted and about the needs of the people living with HIV or AIDS. Unfortunately, 25 years into of this epidemic, we still have ignorant people that hurt people living with HIV with discriminatory remarks or negative attitudes towards them. If you want to keep your buddy, do not betray the trust he put in you.

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