Question:

Hello, thanks for the great service you provide.

I'm a female who has always used a condom for intercourse. However, I have a question about oral sex. I would prefer to give and receive oral sex without using a condom. What is my risk of catching AIDS and other diseases if I perform oral sex on a man? I would never let them come in my mouth, I check the penis out carefully beforehand for sores(!) and I never have mouth ulcers or cuts, but what about pre-cum? Could I catch AIDS or other diseases from that? And what are the risks of catching AIDS or any kind of disease from letting a man perform oral sex on me?

(I do try to find out the sexual history of a potential partner before sleeping with them, but I have never been tested myself except for regular pap smears, partly because I feel its extremely unlikely I 'have' anything, but also because the stress of going to get tested would far outweigh the stress I currently feel worrying about it!)

Thank you for the information, which I will share with my friends.

Answer provided by:

Trevor Hawkins, M. D.
Associate Clinical Professor, Dept. Family Practice, University New Mexico
Medical Director, Southwest CARE Center, Santa Fe, NM

This is a popular and often asked question and remains quite difficult to give precise answers. There was a now famous study in San Francisco where they exhaustively sought to find out the risk factors for a large number of newly diagnosed patients.

They could find no other risk factor other than unprotected oral sex for about 6% of the cases. While this does not prove that oral sex was the source of infection it certainly raises the concern that oral sex can be a risk.

This study, to my knowledge, has never been reproduced. Oral sex remains a very low risk for HIV infection, especially as you do not allow cum in your mouth although it is theoretically possible that very tiny amounts of HIV could be in pre-cum. Good to inspect the penis as you do.

Also, if the partner is HIV infected but has an undetectable virus because of treatment, then that again reduces the risk.

If a man give oral sex to you, as long as there is no bleeding in his mouth or ulceration, it is pretty safe.

Unfortunately, having said all this, it remains a very slight risk and 100% safe still means protection.

Do check out the health of your partner and in spite of your fear, do get tested because the re is no greater fear than fear itself and knowing your status is so important.

I do admire your willingness to address this issue head on and hope this has been helpful.

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