Question:

My fiance has just recently been diagnosed with HIV, he also has meningitis. We have been together for 18 months and before recently have had unprotected sex. I have had one test and it was negative they have me coming back in six weeks. My concern is if it wasn't detected in him a year ago why now? And whose to say that it won't show up in me later. I am so depressed all the time and haven't slept in weeks. I know that we are going to stay together but how do I cope?

Answer provided by:

Mark H. Katz, M.D.
Regional HIV/AIDS Physician Coordinator
Kaiser Permanente of Southern California

You bring up a host of important issues:

First of all, if your fiance has meningitis, there is a good chance he has been HIV-positive for some years, as the meningitis (if it is the AIDS-associated cryptococcal) usually reflects a low number of T-cells. You imply that he was tested 18 months ago and that it was negative. I would suggest you clarify this.

Secondly, if you tested negative even several weeks after your last unprotected encounter, there is a good chance you are negative. But the next test will be the definitive one--and if negative, this is absolutely conclusive, as long as you do not engage in high-risk behaviors.

Being depressed, anxious, upset is a normal reaction to learning one, or a loved one, is HIV-positive. I can assure you that with proper medical care, and use of medications, that people with HIV, and even with full-blown AIDS, are living longer and more productively than ever. It is an honorable thing, indeed, to stand by him, and go through this phase of life as partners. I would guess your support is invaluable to him--and as for you getting support--call your local AIDS service organization. There is a good chance that they have a support group for partners of persons who are positive.

060404
ASKD060402

AEGiS is a 501(c)3, not-for-profit, tax-exempt, educational corporation. AEGiS is made possible through unrestricted funding from Broadway Cares/Equity Fights AIDS, Elton John AIDS Foundation, the National Library of Medicine, Pacific Life Foundation and donations from users like you.

Always watch for outdated information. This material is designed to support, not replace, the relationship that exists between you and your doctor.

AEGiS presents published material, reprinted with permission and neither endorses nor opposes any material. All information contained on this website, including information relating to health conditions, products, and treatments, is for informational purposes only. It is often presented in summary or aggregate form. It is not meant to be a substitute for the advice provided by your own physician or other medical professionals. Always discuss treatment options with a doctor who specializes in treating HIV.

Copyright ©1980,2011.AEGiS. All materials appearing on AEGiS are protected by copyright as a collective work or compilation under U.S. copyright and other laws and are the property of AEGiS, or the party credited as the provider of the content.